Filed under: Uncategorized
I just got in from work. Something happened this morning that reiterated to me just how real the spiritual world is.
I was sitting in avail – just chilling and waiting for a call to come in – when James got a strange call. I don’t know what the other side of the conversation was, but I heard him say “OK, I’m going to focus on something near me – tell me what it is.” (Insert description of me – the ’something’ near him: curly hair, glasses, blue shirt wearing, holding a small hand warmer that I was intermittently shaking and throwing into the air because it is air activated.) The next few things I hear come out of James’ mouth are “… something white, shaped kind of like a hackey sack? Well, yes, you could say that…” (My attention is really grabbed at this point) “OK, I’m going to shift my attention to the person, tell me about them… Curly hair? Brown?… Yes… Glasses? Yes…” (I’m feeling creeped out majorly at this point – my skin is all prickly and my stomach is crawling with this icky feeling.) I turned toward my desk and all I could say was something along the lines of “Jesus…” – my prayer and my life line. Instantly I felt that crawly feeling leave and hear James say “No, you’re wrong about that…” and then his closing script.
I’ve never been so happy to have someone else’s conversation end….
Good night. Time to get some sleep.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Hey you guys. This is an important prayer request. Kenny Mills, husband of my old Holy Spirit study group leader, had an accident at work a few days ago and broke his neck. (I know I’ve asked a few people to pray about this already.) They decided that his neck is not all the way broken through and are debating if they are going to need to do surgery this week to access the extent of the injury. Pray for complete healing for him.
Thanks.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Today is going to be a test of will power. I am so sleepy and I have to be at work in two hours. See previous post as to why this is a big deal. It is going to be a day of concious decisions to have a God-like attitude.
I pray for grace.
In other news – I’m hungry and going to go feed my tummy. Also must pack food for work. My lunch is at 8 pm instead of 2 am today.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I have to be at work early tomorrow (this afternoon) and work a full shift + 3 hours so I should be getting some sleep, but I can’t rest just yet. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to work some overtime Friday after church. I think I may because I won’t get my full 40 hours this week, even with the email portal training. I could do about 4 or 5 hours after church and it not be a big deal at all. Then maybe work a few hours on Tuesday or go in a little early on Wednesday night for my shift next week. My new schedule only gives me 39 hours a week and I need at least 43 to pay my bills and save for KCMO. Four extra hours isn’t too bad – in a week, but this 3 extra hours in one day is crazy – that’s 14 hours at work, and I’m only getting paid for 13 of those 14 hours. Oh well…
The last 48 hours have been hours of off and on tears. From Otley wanting to get the pastoral staff at our church involved with sending me to IHOP, to talking to Season, to Trisha promising to “pray me back” to Kansas City – its been a teary couple days. I am so humbled by the love that my friends have shown me the last week or so. When they can offer nothing else, they offer their love and prayers – and that means the world to me.
OK, OK, I give. I’m going to wash some clothes and get some sleep.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I want coffee. My sleep is really messed up right now and coffee sounds like a perfectly reasonable choice right now. I also want to go shopping.
Wow, that was random.
I’m sitting in bed listening to the prayer room right now and I feel so content – other than the wanting coffee and wanting to shop thing. I’m looking forward to this evening. Dominique and I are planning on going to get coffee. I’m so thankful for my friends. Dominique and D’Jenielle (her sister) have been so amazing to me the last few months. They have been a huge source of comfort to me. We haven’t really hung out, but we’ve talked at random times that were so perfectly timed.
I’m going to miss my friends when I leave. Even though I have spent little time with them, the time I have spent – either at church or hanging out – has been so priceless. I forgot how much fun it is to watch anime, and to have birthday parties, and to sing for hours in a room full of guitars, etc. can be.
I really feel this peace about getting a guitar next week. My little brother is amazing. I really trust him as a musician. The strange thing is that I normally would be freaked out about that large of a sum of money going to one thing, but I’m not. My brother is an awesome instrumentalist and knows a good deal on a guitar. After all, he has four or five of his own. I called him on my way to church and told him I was contemplating a guitar and right off the bat he was like “This isn’t a conversation that we can really have on the phone. I’m coming in town next weekend. Do you want to get together and go shopping? I can talk to Justin at Shreveport Music and see if I can get you a deal.” So either Friday evening or Sunday afternoon Bud and I have a date. I’ve been contemplating this for about four or five months, but I’ve decided that I want to do it. Mom is surprisingly supportive of me doing this, but she wants me to get a pawn shop guitar. While it would be way cheaper – it probably wouldn’t be a wise investment.
The other night I had this amazing dream about singing before the Lord. I was onstage sitting on a stool and singing my heart out to God. No one else was there, but the presence of others was not important – all that was important was being there in front of God and singing. No one was watching, no one was singing with me. It was just me and God, sitting together and singing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news
*I’m not happy with my schedule for work next month, but I have a peace about it. I know I’ll be happier with Wilda as my supervisor than I will with Stephen B. as my supervisor. She is a good boss and cliques are non-existent on her side of the week. Plus she never teases people unless she knows it wont bother them.
*I’m wondering if I should do some overtime next week.
*I think I’m going to go to Old Navy tomorrow and get some new shirts.
*I’m starting to get sleepy now, so I’m going to go listen to the prayer room and get some rest.
God bless,
Emily Mea
Well, words cannot express how amazing Drums of Thunder was last night. If you ever get the chance to buy a CD from the group Broken Walls, buy one. They totally ministered to our area. The turn out wasn’t what we were hoping for, but it was amazing none the less. I still think they could have let Deb speak from the stage without a mic because she’s so energetic and, well, loud. I saw people dancing before the Lord here in Shreveport last night. Wow, I never thought I would see that. People from different churches and races and backgrounds worshiped together. So many nights I prayed for that very thing during FITN, I never thought I would see it.
Let the walls be broken that divide this city. Let the walls be broken that divide this community. Let healing begin.
Now for the random updates:
~Otley has completely blessed me by his amazing words this morning. I went to church and gave him a support letter. He wants to get our pastoral leadership involved in sending me to IHOP. He says that if they support sending those to the nations, then they should support one who wants to pray for the nations.
~Helen and I play tag at church, in the sanctuary, and make Jon Michael turn bright red by doing so.
~I got told by one of the girls I taught last school year that children’s church is boring now because their new teacher doesn’t let them go outside.
~I need an accountability partner.
~I love being “Auntie Emily”
~I am still trying to figure out why my church is going to build a new daycare and a sports facility before replacing the elementary school that is falling apart. The temp buildings need to go – they are 20 years old.
~I think blue is beginning to become my second favorite color.
~I should be asleep right now, it is nap time for sure.
~I wonder if anyone ever reads this thing.
~I’m buying a guitar next weekend – my brother and I have a shopping date. He’s going to see if a guy he has bought several guitars from in the past would be willing to cut me a deal since I don’t have much extra money.
~I had a dream last night that I was singing on stage and playing guitar.
~I love little Silas Paul that I’m “Auntie” to.
~I’ve had the chorus that goes “you are good, you are good, and your love endures…” stuck in my head since last night.
~I need new jeans, I’m dropping weight again and my new jeans are too big.
~Josh at work asked my if I took a bath in Downy last week.
~My hair looks great when I don’t try to do anything with it, but when I try to make it look good all I have is a frizz ball.
~Erin at work wants me to make her a lime green blanket – and I may do it for her.
~I used a purse that I haven’t used in months today and found a ten in it – I got to go eat lunch with my friends.
Filed under: drums of thunder
Tonight is Drums of Thunder. I already have my clothes laid out and I’m excited to put on that great black t-shirt – the one that until 6:30 this evening only staff have. I don’t know what I’m doing tonight. I know I was told that I’m going to sale merchandise and possibly usher, but nothing is definate till after it starts. Some of my friends are working it tonight too – Georgia and Adam from the worship band at the Gathering and Markus too from church. I’m all kinds of excited. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking about DoT all night. I’m up early though at 1 o’clock. I’m missing the baby shower for little Isabelle Aliana (say it “aly-on-ah” not “a-lane-ah”), but i needed the rest because its going to be a long day. I’m expecting God to show up tonight. So much prayer has been the preperation for this event. I’ll definately be posting something about this evening either tonight or tomorrow. time to go take shower and get ready for the day.
God is good. I feel happy. I hope i got enough sleep last night.
OK, I really should be asleep, but I’m not. I have to be up EARLY tomorrow. I need to be awake by 11a.m. This is going to be a stretch for be because I’m used to not waking up until about 5 in the afternoon. (Give me a break, I don’t go to sleep till almost 10 in the morning.)
Tonight we had the Gathering at church. Its so neat to be around other singles from this area, from all different backgrounds and churches, coming together to worship, pray and seek the Lord together…
Lacy brought Silas to church. I have to be honest – I had to have my Silas snuggle time. I just held him and loved on him, saying in his ear “Silas Paul, I love you. You are loved.” A little before the worship started Lacy put Silas in one of those funny baby carriers with him facing out so he could see the band. As soon as the worship team started playing his little hands went into the air and stayed there. Lacy said that was just not normal for him – he cries when she turns the worship music off in the car, but he never lifts his hands. After worship she put him in his carrier and he slept during the sermon. He was waking up as service ended so Lacy was holding him and we were talking about him looking like he was totally into the praise and worship when I got on his level and said “Silas, do you like praisin‘ Jesus?” To both of our surprise, Silas started nodding his head as if he was saying yes. Lacy said she’d never seen him nod his head before either. (There are going to be a lot of “first” in the next few months – he’s three months old now.)
I realized on my way to church just how negative I’ve been in the last couple weeks. I would normally blame it one something else, but it’s just been me. I’ve just been extremely negative and stressed out. So I told myself that I was going to put everything down and just look to Jesus for a little while. I walked back to the back of the parlor during worship and immediately was convicted as to how I have not really made time for the Lord this last week. As I went to the back (so I was not distracted by the complete cuteness that was Silas), I glanced down as I took my shoes off only to see Chris laying on the floor and weeping as he read the Bible. I just heard this still small voice in my head saying “When was the last time we had time together like that?” Georgia started leading a song about how God leads us in His plans and I just was overwhelmed by this desire to dance. So dance I did. I was aware of what Adam started singing and it was totally a spontaneous song. He kept singing “Your ways are perfect, You’re always in control, how I love You, how I love You.”
The only thing that bothered me about the night was that after worship Tyrone, our drummer, came up to me and told me that he loved the way I worship. I know he meant it as a compliment, but in reality it kind of embarrassed me. All I was doing was having an intimate moment with the Lord and it felt weird to realize that someone was looking in to that moment.
I don’t know why I even bother asking – I mean I don’t know if anyone out there reads this. It would be nice to know if anyone does, but I’m doing this more to get my thoughts down somewhere than for anything else.
Last weekend at the Gathering Seth spoke about knowing our past. He meant it as a call to know our corporate history as a church, but it has gotten me thinking about my past personally. I have really been struggling with issues of my past for the last few weeks. It seems that no matter where I turn I find another reminder of where I have failed or fallen short. I can’t even do my shopping online because I find myself feeling this vague feeling of hate towards myself when I see all the skinny girls in the ads. As I took a bath today I found myself thinking “My skin can’t forget what my mind doesn’t want to remember.” I’m sick of looking at my scars. I know I made poor decisions, but I want to not have the constant reminders of them. Sure, physical scars fade, but they don’t disappear. When I go out in the sun the contrast between the scars and my other skin gets more and more noticeable. Maybe my fears of my scars being revealed is one of the reasons why I am so afraid to get into any sort of relationship with a guy.
Wow, I feel better getting these thoughts down somewhere.
If any one out there reads this, do you have any words of encouragement?
Filed under: shreveport/bossier humor
ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Shreveport/Bossier City area:
“Southern Trace Barbie” This princess Barbie is sold only on Line Ave. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
“North Bossier Barbie” The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
“Keithville Barbie” This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
