Pick up a roadmap, you’re going to need it…

The last couple weeks I’ve been getting to know Chelsea better. I’m not going to lie, she still has the ability to drive me absolutely bananas, but she’s so much fun to be around. Last night we went to Wal-mart at 1030-ish and hung out till well after midnight. We talked boys, house stuff, weddings, God, Jesus, music, and various other things.

This has been a very intentional thing on my part. Sometimes I’m afraid I write her off because she’s so much younger than me. (I’m almost 25, she’s only 18.) I forget to have grace for a difference in life experiences with her. I hold grudges for things that she is blessed with that I’ve never been.

The more we hang out - the more I realize I love her. She’s a faithful friend. She doesn’t divulge confidences.  She has a killer sense of style (both in clothes and decorating the house). She has an easy laugh and a complex sense of humor. She is innocent and care free, wise and responsible. She’s been the victim of a few of my loss of temper episodes where I scream uncontrollably and throw accusations way too easy, and still she can look me in the eye and say “I love you girl, can I pray with you?”

In all, she is an awesome girl - and turning into an awesome woman after God’s heart.

Today on her afternoon break we got to talking about how we’ve been getting along better lately. And its true that we are. I think we are both putting an effort into being there for each other.  In the little things like making dinner together and making Wal-mart runs for junk food and the big things like prayer for serious situations and advice on boy stuff we are making the effort.

I was seeing Chelsea as just a roommate, a person that I share a house with and go to church with, but now I am seeing her as a sister - a friend - and it is making one of the most stressful times in my life so much more bearable.

I googled “Emily needs” and these are what I came up with (my responses are in the parenthesis):

1. Emily needs a mommy. (No, I got one already.)
2. Emily needs glasses. (Been wearing them since I was 13 - although I could probably use a new prescription.)
3. Emily needs eating companions around noon on Wednesday. (That would be the fifth graders.)
4. Poor baby Emily needs your help on Ebay. (What am I selling?)
5.  Emily needs more light on her face on Flickr-Photo Sharing. (I pretty much avoid the camera.)
6. Emily Needs a dump! (No comment!)
7. Emily needs a Valentine!!!!!!! (Sadly, no Valentine this year.)
8. Emily needs our help. (Again?)
9. Emily needs you. (I need all my friends.)
10.  Emily needs help deciding how to cut her hair. (That is the truth - I have no clue how I want it cut on Tuesday.)

Say A Prayer by Sara Groves
Dedicated to Elizabeth, inspired by her prayers

Childhood runs across the meadow ❈ taken in the night ❈ told it will be working ❈ in the city for a while ❈ staring from the windows ❈ leaning in the door ❈ flickering like a candle ❈ lying on the floor ❈ say a prayer ❈ say a prayer ❈ in the night ❈ say a prayer ❈ say a prayer ❈ in the night ❈ childhood working with your papa ❈ chained to your mom ❈ this is all you live for ❈ debts that linger on ❈ bearing all the glory ❈ bearing all the weight ❈ knowledge of such hardship ❈ at such a tender age ❈ say a prayer ❈ say a prayer ❈ in the night ❈ say a prayer ❈ say a prayer ❈ in the night ❈ say a prayer ❈ say a prayer ❈ in the night ❈ say a prayer ❈ say a prayer ❈ in the night ❈

I just thought these lyrics were so inspiring tonight. Hope you enjoyed them.

I’ve been changing bed rooms at my house. It’s taken me almost 3 weeks to do what I wanted to do in one weekend - and no, I’m still not finished. While emptying my bookshelf I found a journal from a creative writing class I took my last semester of high school. What a journey it was to look at all those poems and prose pieces I found. From writing about having nothing to write about to poetry about my deepest darkest secrets to writing my way through the pain of my cousin Tiffany’s death - it was a journey. I also found the cases of senor-itis kicking in when I didn’t actually write anything but instead did an alternate assignment instead. I found a page of quotes and a few drawings.

The writings revealed so much about me. I had forgotten the power words have on someone. I forgot how I would pour my soul into that blue college ruled notebook for my allotted 45 minutes a week or more and then  - gasp - let someone read them. And critique them. Oh what was I thinking back then? Even now I pour myself out in my drawings - and sometimes I let people view them - not too much unlike what I did back then.

This is one of my favorite poems in my notebook, please be nice as you read it - I was only 17 when it was written and my writing has grown a bit since then:

Half Remembered

I woke up with the feeling of a dream half remembered,
It dance in my skull amid the fog sleep leaves behind,
Trying to catch it make it harder to pin down.

I knew it wasn’t a nightmare,
It was too pleasant a feeling,
It felt of being held safe in the arms of a friend.

Or maybe it was roses,
Soft, velvety, gentle,
Comforting,
More like roses than being held.

Maybe it was of rainbows,
Many colors in harmony,
All different, but enjoyable.
Yes, it was kind of like rainbows.

It was like Saturday too,
Complete freedom,
No time table set out that has to be followed,
Lazy day, filled with rest and phone conversations and ice cream sundaes.
It was a Saturday.

I tried to chase it dow while I ran through my normal routine,
It ran from me, skipping about on clouds that disappeared as I continued to wake,
It finally ran from me as soon as my hand touched its back,
Disappearing as fog touched by the sun,
I woke up with the feeling of a dream half remembered and for the life of me I couldn’t catch it.

I’ve been waiting for the shower for almost 2 hours now. How is someone supposed to get ready and get their day going without a shower? It’s not like I don’t have to go to work this afternoon - or even need to go grocery shopping…

It was said 45 minutes ago that I could have the bathroom “in a few minutes” - I’ll believe it when I see it.